Breakfast
Me: What would you like for breakfast?
Aiman: Jellybeans!
Me: Uh, no. How about (insert decent breakfast food here)?
Aiman: Oh, no thank you.
Me: Okay, what do you want then?
Aiman: I’ll take cereal.
Me: Fine.
Lunch
Me: Buddy, lunch is ready.
Aiman: No, I don’t like (insert something he does like and has always eaten before)
Me: But!
Aiman: I DON’T LIKE IT.
Me: So what do you want to eat?
Aiman: Uh…BOSS! (which is what he used to and still occasionally calls pasta. Don’t ask.)
Me: Ugh, okay. *makes “boss” and hands him plate*
Aiman: AHHH!!
Me: What is it??
Aiman: I don’t want macaroni, I like penne rigate, please.
Me: *twitch, twitch, twitch* Aiman, I don’t have penne rigate, but you can have either macaroni or the lunch everyone else is having.
Aiman: *breakdown*
Me: *ignore breakdown*
Aiman: Mama, please I will eat cereal.
Me: *figures better cereal than nothing at all*
Dinner
Me: Okay, Aiman, child of mine, my dear first-born, what in God’s name will you eat for dinner?
Aiman: Uh, cookies?
Me: *ignore suggestion and repeat question”
Aiman: Cereal!
Me: No way! You had cereal for breakfast and lunch; you need real food! Eat some real food! If I make (insert real food here), will you eat some of it?
Aiman: No thank you.
Me: So what do you want to eat?
Aiman: Cereal!
Me: Forget it. We’re having (insert his favorite dish) and I just know you’ll love it, won’t you dear child?
Aiman: …..Cereal!
Me:*hands him dish he always ate before or something he’d most likely try based on previous foods he used to eat*
Aiman: Oh. Oh, no thank you mom. I’m full.
Me: ….
Aiman: Mama, can I have some juice?
Me: You know you can only have juice after you have your meal.
Aiman: Okay, can I have cereal then?
Me: That’s not a meal baby boy, eat (real food).
Aiman: *breakdown*
Me: *ignore breakdown*
Aiman: Mama, I’m want some juice and yogurt.
Me: Aiman, it’s time for dinner. Eating yogurt will make you hungry in the middle of the night. Come with me to the kitchen and show me what you’ll eat”
Aiman: *straight to cereal nook*
Me: *scream EXCEPT THE DAMN CEREAL in my head*
Me: No, Aiman, pick something else.
Aiman: *breakdown*
Me: *bargain, bet, play with, beg, force, bribe child to EAT SOMETHING*
Aiman: *refuses to let up*
Me: Whatever. I’d rather you eat cereal before bed then go to sleep hungry.
3AM
Aiman: Mama, my tummy hurts.
Me: *mid sleep gurgle*
Aiman: Mama, my tummy is hurting.
Me: Do you feel sick or hungry?
Aiman: I’m hungry.
Me: *midnight lecture on importance of eating real food, nutrition, balanced diet, good for us! blah blah blah*
Aiman: Mommy, can I have cereal?
Me: *head explodes*
______________
My once champion eater has become the Pickiest Child in the Cosmos and it pretty much sucks donkey butt (or ass squared, bwhahaaha).
I know it’s a phase and one that my mom informs me I went through as well, so that’s partially reassuring. I mean, eating cereal 24/7 won’t hurt anyone, right? He fills up on fruits, certain veggies, yogurt (so much yogurt), etc. in between meals, but it’s getting him to eat non-cereal for a meal that’s challenging.
Even as I wrap up this post, he just slurped up his last drop of milk from his cereal– that he had for lunch.
A few nights ago, he flipped out at the sight of parsley specks in his lasagna –the same lasagna he’s always had and with the same parsley specks, mind you. Do you know how impossible it is to try to scrap off specks of parsley? Do you know how impossible it is to predict what will offset flipping out? It’s like I need permission for every single ingredient!
But that’s all.
I just want everyone to know that I live with a tyrant.
Love the title. Trust me, it is a passing phase and he’ll get bored eventually, I should think. The blog is really such a gem. Makes me smile when I need it most.
Awh, thank you; that makes me happy to hear
Lil Z isn’t the best of eaters even now, I am dreading the day I will be combining his finicky eating habits + willfullness + the power of speech! Oh, it’s right around the corner…
BRACE YOURSELF.
Just kidding. (No, I’m not not). Personally, what caught me off guard was how much more oxygen I needed to take in just to keep up with the 24/7 negotiations. IT’S ALL DAY, EVERYDAY.