You Snooze, You Lose (a little bit of your dignity)

Scene: School’s Financial Aid Office

Incident: Public Sleep

Lesson: Do not fall asleep in public thinking no one will notice

Today was the day, the day that I was going to resolve my dispute with the Financial Aid Office, but really I should be used to this by now, in fact I should even expect it every year. It’s been four years of this document missing or that file not going through or them not knowing with the hell is wrong with their system. Nonetheless I was unusually positive about today’s visit.

I arrived at 11:30 and received my number, number 112, and sat down. I saw number 83 flashing on the call screen and felt like this was only going to take the rest of my life to get through. Waiting patiently is not what I’m known for, so to pass my time I began staring at people and pretending that I wasn’t starring when they noticed. That lasted about 15 minutes before I realized I could stare at the wrong person in the wrong way and get my butt kicked, so I refrained. But I do like stalking observing people…

After a mere two hour wait (considering I waited six -SIX!- hours once) I saw the number 112 flashing on the screen. That’s me!! I went up and spoke with the Financial Aid Officer for three  minutes before she said she would have to get back to me in a minute and to wait where I was. In two hours I spoke with someone for three minutes and now I shall wait again? Crap.

Well let’s just say that “a minute” was really 32 minutes and I know the exact amount because I was starring at the clock (I’m sure you’ve notice my tendency to stare, but I promise I’m not a creeper). After looking at the clock too many times, I tried to relax. And I relaxed alright because I felt really lethargic out of nowhere. Then I got drowsy. Then I was contemplating taking a quick nap while I waited. Now, I didn’t think this would be such a big deal because when you’re speaking with an officer, you go up to one of the four desks in the front of the waiting area and discuss your business as quietly as possible while the entire audience of waitees (people waiting) try not to listen in on your conversation. So since my back would be to everyone else, a quick nap sounded innocent enough.

No. No it wasn’t.

I did fall asleep, for how long I do not know. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, partly awake when I heard the subtle ruckus of shuffling papers and voices and splendid silence as I drifted off to sleep again. Then suddenly BOOM! At some point in my siesta, I felt the forces of the universe coming together to jolt my body awake and apprehend where I was. My body was lunged forward as if some burly man shoved me right out of my seat. And you what? This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’d like to think of it as a self-adjustment mechanism of some sort. One in which my body overrides my brain’s dumb decisions to avoid otherwise dangerous or just plain embarrassing things from happening to me. Now, could my body not have jerked so energetically? Maybe.

Consequently I’m sure everyone behind me noticed. Everyone. And I’m positive about it because I was even asked, loud enough for everyone to hear, if I was okay by the officer sitting at another desk.  So I’m sure anyone unfortunately enough to miss my body being possessed was at least brought to its attention now. I felt the blood rush to my face as my embarrassment reached its peak. All of the thought process I had left said to cover my face with the sides of my hijab (head covering), so I pulled the corners of my hijab out enough to hide my tomatoe-red silhouette.

When the officer returned and we concluded our discussion I stood up and took the only exit that allowed me to keep my back towards the waitees.

The first thing I did after leaving was run to the nearest shop and get some coffee- Hi. Yeah, I’ll have black coffee and a shot of espresso in a venti, please! – because I’ll be damned before I let that happened to me again.

Needless to say, I learned my lesson.